How to Build Connections with People Online

We are now in a digital and technological age where making virtual connections is no longer an option - it's a must. Whether you operate a business or head a church, developing this skill is key to your success and growth.

Virtual connections may be a little more complicated than face-to-face interactions; however, connecting with people online can be easy if you know the rules.

So, how do you build meaningful connections online? Here are a few steps to consider.

BE AUTHENTIC

Nobody likes a phony. By being authentic in your messaging, delivery, and content, you will resonate with, and ultimately connect with, like-minded people. Making connections is not about being liked by everyone; it is about finding and showing up for the people you need to serve. Being authentic is of prime importance in connecting with people online.

ADD VALUE

If the word “serve" above made you a little queasy, then perhaps this will set you at ease. The most genuine connections we make in this life are with people who value and appreciate us. Think about all the people who impact and influence you the most. What do they all have in common? They add value to your life!

Connections are not about us and more about the other person. Imagine how rich and meaningful our relationships would be if both parties enter with the mindset of putting the other person first!

MAKE TIME FOR IT

We are all busy. However, relationships, whether online or in the "real world," disintegrate when neglected. If you're in a relationship and you're not making time for the other party, then eventually, something else will captivate their attention. One way to avoid this is to be intentional about your interactions. Don't just engage with your online community or online friend when you want or need something. Check in on them with sincere interest, even if you cannot do it as often as you would like. An understanding friend will not hold it against you. Your efforts to reach out will be even more meaningful because they know you were intentional about it.

DON'T GIVE TO GET

However tempting this may be, and regardless of what the world says, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 20:35 NIV)

The spirit behind giving with the sole intent of receiving is not from God. God gave us Jesus, His one and only son, on a MAYBE. MAYBE we’ll believe in Him. MAYBE we’ll accept Him. MAYBE we’ll change and come to know Him. If God can show us such love on a maybe, who are we to demand that other people return our favors?

Luke 6:33-35 (NIV) warns us against this way of thinking. "And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back."

LISTEN

Active and intentional listening can go a far way in deepening connections. When you take the time to listen to others, you show them that their opinions, concerns, and suggestions are important to you. Feeling important is one of our most basic desires. We instinctively gravitate to anyone who genuinely makes us feel that way. Listening is a sure way to build connections with people online.

BE COMPASSIONATE (NOT JUDGEMENTAL)

Nobody loves a critic. Nobody wants to be in a relationship built on judgment and condescension. When building relationships online, we must exercise compassion and care for the people we want to connect with. We will show what is truly in our hearts by the way we talk and interact with people. Remember, even though a screen separates you, it is still another human being on the other side of your device. Treat them like actual humans and not a sale.

MORE THAN A SALE

Have you ever gotten a message almost immediately after making a new connection that greeted you with a sales pitch and a link to purchase? How do those messages make you feel?  

People are not products. They are more than dollar signs and networking opportunities. If you can't see more than dollars signs in a conversation, the other person can tell. Unless you've already laid the groundwork by building a relationship with this person and developing trust with them, they have no reason to do anything except delete you as a contact. You have to earn trust to see your desired results, which you can only do with integrity.

BE SINCERE

Sincerity and integrity closely mesh together. Have you ever seen a baby smile? It is perhaps one of the most sincerest expressions on earth, which is why the average person tends to smile back at them. You can feel the honestly behind a baby's smile. If platitudes and flattery fill your conversations, you may place the other person on guard.

We are hard-wired to detect manipulation. People will politely accept your flattery, but they won't believe it. You will not be able to form connections online if you are not trustworthy. Once the conversation is over, you will be forgotten and, in some cases, blocked. If the experience was unpleasant the first time around, online users have the freedom and right to ensure that they never have to sit through it again. Sincerity is an anti-blocking device. When you take a sincere interest in the other person, they will be more than happy to connect with you.

BE HAPPY

Happiness is highly contagious. Even without seeing someone's face, you can see the joy radiating through their words and their GIFs or pictures. Sharing happiness and joy is a gift that we all can share.  

Avoid complaining online. Do not spread negativity online and expect it to attract quality connections. Negativity only attracts more negativity which leads to toxic relationships. 

Let people be happy. Letting others be happy doesn't mean trying to make others happy. If someone expresses happiness with an accomplishment, a purchase, a new relationship, whatever it is, don't be a sour puss about it. Don't try to create or stir up drama for any reason; this will only lead to people getting hurt, which will crush your efforts to make meaningful connections. 

Friendship and genuine human connection, whether in-person or online, are precious. In the past, we've been guilty of living in reverse by loving things and using people. To make genuine connections, we will have to fix this behavior and love people and not things. Regardless of your end goal, whether it be an increase in profits or a mark-up in membership, remember that you are dealing with people. Building relationships with people requires gentleness, consideration, and sincerity. People do business with people they like. You will influence people who like you and trust you.  

Be sincere, be considerate, be human, and be a friend.